It 's true that Flaws = Perfection. Have you ever sat down to draw something and then fuss about it not being perfect? Ok then, just me. But really, the truth is that when you look at everything around you...nothing is perfect and so therefore, it IS perfect. Weird huh? I bring this up mainly because I'm going to talk about the war between my face and my facial hair. The longer my facial hair gets the more white trash I look. Gross, uneven and downright unmanly. I know this and I have accepted it. Its just sad because I would never survive in a end of the world scenario. We've all seen the movies where the hero is alone in the world and so he has to grow the manliest beard imaginable. Like the kind that scare away bears. For me it would be the police officer stopping me and saying, "Son if you tell me some info I think we can get you back to your parents." I have some good facial hair, my eyelashes are beautiful, and they really accentuate my eyes. Girls have told me this, LOTS of them. They say, "My, what amazing eyelashes you have, but why is there a caterpillar crawling across your face," (talking about my horrific cro-magnum uni-brow). My eyebrows can get so long that my eyelashes will get caught in them. I only let them get that long for the sake of science. To finish that off I just want to go back to the imperfection/perfection thing. I am imperfect therefore I am perfect, (laughing while I write it).
After 24 years of life I have not figured out that its smarter to just go pee instead of dancing around until I can't hold it anymore. I think men in general do it. But the other day I was Christmas shopping and I could not make it to the bathroom if I wanted to. Every time I tried to go, something stopped me. Ran into an old friend, saw a sale I could not pass up or forgot what I was doing by the time I got there. Yes my wife picked a winner.
Ok I was gonna be done but I have to comment about relatives. Maybe its just me but some relatives are just....rude. My father in law's brother came to the house the other day. He gave a single knock and then without waiting, came in. No phone call, just came in. I was napping on the couch and was like half asleep. He picked up the remote and changed it to sports. My father in-law, who had just gone to bed after working a night shift came out because it would be rude of him not to talk to his brother. This relative then went to the fridge and took out two sodas and drank them. Now this was awkward, the whole thing I mean. He fell asleep after that. Now really picture this, he falls asleep in the elbow of the couch, a 350 pound individual spread eagle, legs up on either side of him and sawing logs so loud that he was rattling the windows. And here is my wife, my father in-law and I just staring at him, thinking that soon he will wake up and be like, "Oh sorry, I must have dozed off." Yeah, that never happened.
Anyways Its getting close so if I don't say it another time, Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Kick my head.
Gosh I am just so frustrated!!!!! That's allowed right? I'm not being sarcastic either. I have a voice, I have things I want to say and on a side note the anamatronic deer we got keeps falling over and I keep having to fix it. Imagine a scene in a movie that goes back en forth from a leader of a country, to individuals.
We all consider ourselves important. We consider the town we live in the center of the universe. When we submerge our selves in our local culture we tend to think that other towns around us and far away are suffering in the same ways and from the same things. But its just not true! There are billions of individual stories waiting to be told, and when you think about it, sometimes we are put in a situation where we feel we play a part in many other people's stories. But then there is still our own story to be told. So many cultures, we couldn't possibly experience them all. Life in he U.S. is just so fragile. And so many people don't even know it.
There is so much hate outside of the U.S. it's mind boggling. I laugh when I think about the guy who hates black people, complains and openly mocks them, not even knowing he is part of the problem. In other countries its not about fighting for a better future, its about who is gonna kill the rest first. Granted that doesn't explain everywhere but I believe the majority it does.
I think about Iraq sometimes. I think about the people I've seen and their stories. I think about what it would be like growing up there and not even being able to understand what it means to be an American or understand what life here is like.
I remember one day responding to a suicide bomb in a market. As we were making our way in we see Iraqi Police pick up trucks carting off truck loads of bodies. I imagine each of these as a story. I remember one scene in witch a boy was being lead by an older man. The boy's mouth was open and he was screaming. Burn marks littered his cloths. Not much blood on him but his face was covered with a black ash. The only trace of his brown skin was where the tears were streaming down his face. I'll never forget that boy. And yet.....he has no idea that I exist. His was not the most interesting story I found thou, because I saw another man who peaked my interest. The man with the fire hose. The man who was "casually" hosing off the pavement of all the body parts and blood. What the hell is his story. I could not imagine living in a world that would make me so callus to the loss of life.
And what about my story. I feel like I, personally, have been through a lot. I'm sure we all feel that way at some point. I would hope that some people who will read this can relate. Well if you do, your not alone. I think the way to counter these feelings is to never stop learning and always keep a little love in your heart. To know the issues and whenever you can be thankful for what we have. LOL, funny thing is, putting my feelings into words makes me feel better already.
Just a warning before I go. There is too much assumption and not enough knowledge in the world right now. If your not part of the solution, the your part of the problem. Thanks for reading this guys.
We all consider ourselves important. We consider the town we live in the center of the universe. When we submerge our selves in our local culture we tend to think that other towns around us and far away are suffering in the same ways and from the same things. But its just not true! There are billions of individual stories waiting to be told, and when you think about it, sometimes we are put in a situation where we feel we play a part in many other people's stories. But then there is still our own story to be told. So many cultures, we couldn't possibly experience them all. Life in he U.S. is just so fragile. And so many people don't even know it.
There is so much hate outside of the U.S. it's mind boggling. I laugh when I think about the guy who hates black people, complains and openly mocks them, not even knowing he is part of the problem. In other countries its not about fighting for a better future, its about who is gonna kill the rest first. Granted that doesn't explain everywhere but I believe the majority it does.
I think about Iraq sometimes. I think about the people I've seen and their stories. I think about what it would be like growing up there and not even being able to understand what it means to be an American or understand what life here is like.
I remember one day responding to a suicide bomb in a market. As we were making our way in we see Iraqi Police pick up trucks carting off truck loads of bodies. I imagine each of these as a story. I remember one scene in witch a boy was being lead by an older man. The boy's mouth was open and he was screaming. Burn marks littered his cloths. Not much blood on him but his face was covered with a black ash. The only trace of his brown skin was where the tears were streaming down his face. I'll never forget that boy. And yet.....he has no idea that I exist. His was not the most interesting story I found thou, because I saw another man who peaked my interest. The man with the fire hose. The man who was "casually" hosing off the pavement of all the body parts and blood. What the hell is his story. I could not imagine living in a world that would make me so callus to the loss of life.
And what about my story. I feel like I, personally, have been through a lot. I'm sure we all feel that way at some point. I would hope that some people who will read this can relate. Well if you do, your not alone. I think the way to counter these feelings is to never stop learning and always keep a little love in your heart. To know the issues and whenever you can be thankful for what we have. LOL, funny thing is, putting my feelings into words makes me feel better already.
Just a warning before I go. There is too much assumption and not enough knowledge in the world right now. If your not part of the solution, the your part of the problem. Thanks for reading this guys.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
New Keys, New Key Ring.
Ok, first off. WHAT THE FREAK??? If I may direct your attention to the right ---->>>>>
Here you will see on my web site the quote of the day. This is something that was supposed to be fun; however, I now realize that the way you create a quote is by saying the first thing that comes to your head. For example
Yellow is yellow, like red is red. So when pertaining to the soul, we are who we are.
Loren Keely, 2009.
Epic I know, but I made that up in two seconds. If the quote had Winston Churchill next to it, we would all scratch our heads and say, "Man that's deep. Way over my head bro." I'm not saying all the quotes are bad. I'm just saying that most of them leave me with the impression that someone was spending a little too much time in the Chinese opium den if you know what I mean. Ok, enough of that.
I really want to talk a little bit about family photos. Melissa, David, Samuel and I, all got in the car and headed to Sears for some good old picture fun. You would think a six month old would smile very easily. The lady taking the pictures used a feather duster to make Sam smile. She slowly waved the thing at him and poked him with it. The first time she got a huge smile, we took a picture, the planets aligned and all was right with the universe. But when the flash went off on the camera. It was all down hill from there. Next time she tried to poke him with it, lets just say that she might as well have been Freddy Kruger trying to pick him up with blade hands. I could go on about how David was touching everything and how he pushed his brother over during poses, but I won't. (lol)
I wonder if women really know how scatter brained men are. I tried to be honest with my wife and I will share with you how it went. The other day we were driving around and I realized that she had been talking to me the whole time. I was thinking about cool things like, would I survive if I had to throw a grenade back at the enemy and it exploded above my head. But instead of acting like I was listening, I decided to come clean and say, "Melissa I'm sorry but, I didn't hear a word you said. Could you repeat that?" I knew I was in trouble when she said, "Which part?".....Oh crap. It gets better though because I turn to her and say. "You know what, I'm sorry. Sometimes my mind wanders and I would appreciate if when I do that, you could be understanding and just repeat what you said no questions asked. What do you say?" Honestly some of the dumbest words I have ever said in my life. We will leave it at that.
Wanna hear something cool. You ever had a key chain that's all weak and doesn't feel manly? Well I got some keys to the church the other day that came with a super manly key chain. I'm glad I can cross that one off of my bucket list.
Here you will see on my web site the quote of the day. This is something that was supposed to be fun; however, I now realize that the way you create a quote is by saying the first thing that comes to your head. For example
Yellow is yellow, like red is red. So when pertaining to the soul, we are who we are.
Loren Keely, 2009.
Epic I know, but I made that up in two seconds. If the quote had Winston Churchill next to it, we would all scratch our heads and say, "Man that's deep. Way over my head bro." I'm not saying all the quotes are bad. I'm just saying that most of them leave me with the impression that someone was spending a little too much time in the Chinese opium den if you know what I mean. Ok, enough of that.
I really want to talk a little bit about family photos. Melissa, David, Samuel and I, all got in the car and headed to Sears for some good old picture fun. You would think a six month old would smile very easily. The lady taking the pictures used a feather duster to make Sam smile. She slowly waved the thing at him and poked him with it. The first time she got a huge smile, we took a picture, the planets aligned and all was right with the universe. But when the flash went off on the camera. It was all down hill from there. Next time she tried to poke him with it, lets just say that she might as well have been Freddy Kruger trying to pick him up with blade hands. I could go on about how David was touching everything and how he pushed his brother over during poses, but I won't. (lol)
I wonder if women really know how scatter brained men are. I tried to be honest with my wife and I will share with you how it went. The other day we were driving around and I realized that she had been talking to me the whole time. I was thinking about cool things like, would I survive if I had to throw a grenade back at the enemy and it exploded above my head. But instead of acting like I was listening, I decided to come clean and say, "Melissa I'm sorry but, I didn't hear a word you said. Could you repeat that?" I knew I was in trouble when she said, "Which part?".....Oh crap. It gets better though because I turn to her and say. "You know what, I'm sorry. Sometimes my mind wanders and I would appreciate if when I do that, you could be understanding and just repeat what you said no questions asked. What do you say?" Honestly some of the dumbest words I have ever said in my life. We will leave it at that.
Wanna hear something cool. You ever had a key chain that's all weak and doesn't feel manly? Well I got some keys to the church the other day that came with a super manly key chain. I'm glad I can cross that one off of my bucket list.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
House Dads Unite!!!
Its not a bad thing being at home and cleaning up. I should be happy that I'm supporting my wife as she goes and works. Of course I have to be careful when she comes home cause she is pretty cranky. Am I right gentlemen? First thing she wants when she gets home is her dinner and if she doesn't get that then, OHHH look out. Sometimes....after dinner...she wants..."other things," but usually by that time I am so tired from cleaning all day that I have to say no. I mean, where is the romance.
But seriously, imagine guys, a women who just got home from work,who is completely irrational AND menstruating. Scary I know. Most guys wake up in cold sweats thinking about this. I live it. I only have one thing to say, PTSD, (its an acronym). Enough said.
This will probably be the best post I have ever done considering all four people who follow this blog are women.
BTW, (another acronym), I don't think I will ever own a boxer. The bishop asked me to feed his dogs while he was away. This is okay considering I am a human being who can handle simple instructions. Things like, GET DOG FOOD, GET DOG WATER, you get the point. As long as you speak to me like a three year old then I'm pretty much good to go. But I was ill prepared for Satan's boxer to be one of the dogs I was watching.
Feeding time went like this. I get food for dog. Dog too scared of me to eat food. spend an hour waiting for him to be hungry enough to eat food. Open door to back yard so dog can relieve himself. Dog too scared to come back inside. I try to catch dog but only get scrapes for my troubles and a lot of dog crap on the bottom of my shoe. I trick dog by hiding behind door and closing it when he walks past me. This only works once because Satan's boxer is smarter then other boxers. I hide in a closed room. Dog sniffs me out and runs back outside before I can close the door. Eventually through a divine miracle, (only thing known to combat Satan's boxer) I get to the door before him. Dog lays on his pillow and is all of a sudden not afraid of me anymore. Repeat.
Well I must be off I have chores to do, (lol).
But seriously, imagine guys, a women who just got home from work,who is completely irrational AND menstruating. Scary I know. Most guys wake up in cold sweats thinking about this. I live it. I only have one thing to say, PTSD, (its an acronym). Enough said.
This will probably be the best post I have ever done considering all four people who follow this blog are women.
BTW, (another acronym), I don't think I will ever own a boxer. The bishop asked me to feed his dogs while he was away. This is okay considering I am a human being who can handle simple instructions. Things like, GET DOG FOOD, GET DOG WATER, you get the point. As long as you speak to me like a three year old then I'm pretty much good to go. But I was ill prepared for Satan's boxer to be one of the dogs I was watching.
Feeding time went like this. I get food for dog. Dog too scared of me to eat food. spend an hour waiting for him to be hungry enough to eat food. Open door to back yard so dog can relieve himself. Dog too scared to come back inside. I try to catch dog but only get scrapes for my troubles and a lot of dog crap on the bottom of my shoe. I trick dog by hiding behind door and closing it when he walks past me. This only works once because Satan's boxer is smarter then other boxers. I hide in a closed room. Dog sniffs me out and runs back outside before I can close the door. Eventually through a divine miracle, (only thing known to combat Satan's boxer) I get to the door before him. Dog lays on his pillow and is all of a sudden not afraid of me anymore. Repeat.
Well I must be off I have chores to do, (lol).
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanks Taking!!!!
I didn't want to name the turkey, but "Elmer" as he/she has been named is now sitting in a tiny room where we have turned up the heat to 350 degrees. He is alone and cramped. One has to ask who on earth would do such a thing to a helpless turkey. Answer: THIS GUY!!!
Here is a boggling question, why don't more people like the drum sticks? I may never find the answer; however, its just more for me.
OHHH you know what makes a good Thanksgiving? More then one dinner. I don't consider myself a mooch, but if its there I will eat. Those of you who know me well know that my weakness is food. The church is having a big lunch at 12:00, thank goodness we have a lot of Samoan families in our ward so there is Turkey, Pig and Chicken. Man I'm hungry.
Speakng of Charlie Brown, he always had a good laugh waiting for me for the holidays. Oh Charlie Brown, you are a good friend to me. You taught me how to ignore all them pesky relatives. Now when they talk all I hear is "wah wah, wah wah."
All in all thanksgiving is a happy time. A simple time. A good time for giving AND, a good time for taking.
Here is a boggling question, why don't more people like the drum sticks? I may never find the answer; however, its just more for me.
OHHH you know what makes a good Thanksgiving? More then one dinner. I don't consider myself a mooch, but if its there I will eat. Those of you who know me well know that my weakness is food. The church is having a big lunch at 12:00, thank goodness we have a lot of Samoan families in our ward so there is Turkey, Pig and Chicken. Man I'm hungry.
Speakng of Charlie Brown, he always had a good laugh waiting for me for the holidays. Oh Charlie Brown, you are a good friend to me. You taught me how to ignore all them pesky relatives. Now when they talk all I hear is "wah wah, wah wah."
All in all thanksgiving is a happy time. A simple time. A good time for giving AND, a good time for taking.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
My adventure.
So, if you haven't heard, I fell. 25 feet from a zip line onto jagged rocks. I was with the boy scouts so its all good. When i fell i stayed loose. I hit down and the first thing that I saw was my ring finger bent 90 degrees and my hand was split open (a lot of flesh was hanging out of the cut). I hit the back side of my thigh but, I didn't feel it. In fact the only thing I could feel was the bottom of my feet. Trust me they hurt so bad.
I screamed for about 20 seconds. Then I got my pain under control and we started to move me. There is more to it but I will keep it part short because I have told this story many times and I am tired of hearing it myself. But, good news is there was no broken bones, just a lot of tissue damage, cuts and sprains. I GOT SO LUCKY.
Another women fell as well. She fell and landed in the same spot as me and ended up getting eight fractured, a dislocated elbow and has already had two surgeries. When I think about this I get sad and I feel bad that she got hurt and I only walked away with minor damage.
Well I am doing a lot better now. I am walking around with a cane instead of a wheelchair like I was at first. My grandfather fell from 30 feet and is paralyzed. I can't help but just feel lucky.
Don't worry I will write about something funny next time.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Friends
So its kinda funny that my wife and I always create weird ways to identify our friends. We have one set of friends (your one of my three followers so you know who you are) named Seth and Debra which eventually changed to Deth and Sebra. This occurred during Melissa's "problem," you know, the one where she can't speak right. Its ok, we're working through it, but she still has relapses from time to time.
Friends are great because they will be there and understand you even when your family doesn't. For example when I got back from Iraq and had an infection in my face that swelled up. After it was taken care of I was put on heavy medication. This medication took away what little ability I had to control saying every thought that came to my mind. So when Melissa and I went to a barbecue and she told me it was time to leave and then I told her to shut up, I'm glad my friends were there to support me with their laughter and good cheer. *sigh* Good times.
Or how about when you run into that friend that you haven't seen in forever and you are both really excited to see each other. But somehow the conversation ends at:
"Hey whats up man"
"HEY"
"How you doing man"
"Great, you?"
"Great.............."
(awkward). I just love friends.
Whoa I just herd Melissa say, "Oh no, don't pee on me. Loren I need a diaper." So I guess that's my que to go. Peace out people.
Friends are great because they will be there and understand you even when your family doesn't. For example when I got back from Iraq and had an infection in my face that swelled up. After it was taken care of I was put on heavy medication. This medication took away what little ability I had to control saying every thought that came to my mind. So when Melissa and I went to a barbecue and she told me it was time to leave and then I told her to shut up, I'm glad my friends were there to support me with their laughter and good cheer. *sigh* Good times.
Or how about when you run into that friend that you haven't seen in forever and you are both really excited to see each other. But somehow the conversation ends at:
"Hey whats up man"
"HEY"
"How you doing man"
"Great, you?"
"Great.............."
(awkward). I just love friends.
Whoa I just herd Melissa say, "Oh no, don't pee on me. Loren I need a diaper." So I guess that's my que to go. Peace out people.
Birth Day
Welcome to the world, Samuel Patrick Niel Keely. Real quick about his name, I know it seems long, but it was an accident LOL. Melissa and I decided on Samuel Neil Keely but I had second thoughts and I wanted to make his name stronger. Melissa and I threw out names like Maxwell Niel Keely and Alexander Niel Keely. I finally said that we should add a middle name (Samuel Patrick Niel Keely) in order to keep Samuel but make it stronger. Melissa was quick to say....NO. She hated the idea and said that there was no reason to add a middle name. Melissa and I couldn't compromise and Melissa said we should wait till we see the baby, and we would know the name then.
Low and behold we are in the birthing room, Melissa is pushing out the baby, HE'S BORN, Melissa holds him and over come with emotion she shouts, SAMUEL PATRICK NIEL KEELY, I LOVE YOU. Well, way to trap us in to that one Melissa LOL. Everyone herd it, her mother, her father, her aunts, her cousin, her friends, the midwife and finally, the nurses.
I must say that Samuel is a beautifully baby who looks just like his brother. He is feeding and sleeping just fine.
For the record I wasn't there for our first child being born. So Melissa would talk about it a lot and I would nod and hmm and haaa about her experience. Seeing it in person is something totally different. I feel I should probably apologise to all mothers everywhere because Melissa showed a strength that I have never seen in her before and I feel really grateful that she would allow me to see this incredible experience. I have said this to a lot of my friends because it fits soo well, If you only ever do one thing in your lifetime don't go skydiving, don't see the great pyramids, don't spend you life looking for enlightenment, go and see your child be born.
Low and behold we are in the birthing room, Melissa is pushing out the baby, HE'S BORN, Melissa holds him and over come with emotion she shouts, SAMUEL PATRICK NIEL KEELY, I LOVE YOU. Well, way to trap us in to that one Melissa LOL. Everyone herd it, her mother, her father, her aunts, her cousin, her friends, the midwife and finally, the nurses.
I must say that Samuel is a beautifully baby who looks just like his brother. He is feeding and sleeping just fine.
For the record I wasn't there for our first child being born. So Melissa would talk about it a lot and I would nod and hmm and haaa about her experience. Seeing it in person is something totally different. I feel I should probably apologise to all mothers everywhere because Melissa showed a strength that I have never seen in her before and I feel really grateful that she would allow me to see this incredible experience. I have said this to a lot of my friends because it fits soo well, If you only ever do one thing in your lifetime don't go skydiving, don't see the great pyramids, don't spend you life looking for enlightenment, go and see your child be born.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Memorial Day
Golf is Dumb! Of course I don't mean that; however, I will say I have not felt that much rage in a long time. The average score of the course is about 67 and I got 126. I am new at golf but no one has fun playing the course 10 feet at a time lol.
Melissa has expressed to me that my cleaning ethic sucks. I have since told her that she is delusional, because anyone other then her would absolutely adore cleaning with me. You see, for me, cleaning is just a matter of the proper motivation.
It starts with a good dance/techno song (the white male's cat nip). This is followed by me picking up clothing items and putting as many of them on as I can. Next comes the cheesy love song that I sing at the top of my lungs and put my heart and soul into expressing my deepest devotion to Melissa. Be aware that while this process is occurring, anything said by Melissa is met with extreme opposition. So picture me with five shirts, a skirt, jeans, two belts, a ski mask, a giant hat that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY, flip flops, a bra and gloves on. Add a little deafening techno music and you have a fun filled evening of cleaning. Why can't she see the world like I do, my own personal playground. The funny thing is that an outfit like this would have been completely acceptable in a mid 80's movie.
Which reminds me. Is there any other dads out there that feel a little strange whenever the child moves within the womb and you can feel it. And I don't mean the little bumps or hiccups. I mean when the child drags his whole hand across the inside of her belly. Melissa wants me to touch her belly all the time and I am happy to comply. I just have to muscle past the feeling that the spawn of Satan is not about to rip out of my wife's belly and suck me into nothingness. I guess once you get past that its all good *thumbs up*.
The baby is due any day now and I can't wait. One, so that David can realize that there are other children in this world and no it does not revolve around him, and two so I can share what I hope will be one of the best things I have experienced with my friends. I have been to many places and seen many things both good and bad, but I can say that I believe none of these things will hold a candle to witnessing a miracle. Maybe the miracle won't happen right away, maybe it will happen after 20 years of hard work and devotion to my children. But the important thing is that I know it
is there.
Well on a final note I am thankful for all of the veterans and current service men and women out there protecting us. And YES they are protecting us. If the fight was not somewhere else then it would be somewhere in the United States. So for memorial day I will share with you the quick story of a Medal of Honor winner. Unfortunately I don't remember this man's name, so he will be known as the captain.
When I was in Infantry school I read on a wall within one of the doctors offices the story about an army medical captain in Korea who stood his ground and gave up his life for thoughes around him.
This captain was in charge of a medical tent on one of the forward bases during the Korean War. The captain herd an alarm sounding signaling that the Korean army was overrunning the base. The captain and his staff stayed and continued to treat people during the onslaught.
Suddenly a Korean soldier crawled under the tent. The captain reacted, grabbing a rifle with a fixed bayonet, he stabbing the invader in the back. More Korean soldiers continued to pour into the tent. The captain continued to dispatch these men even when faced with insurmountable odds. Eventually after being in hand to hand combat for a while, the captain ordered the evacuation of the remaining medical staff and patients.
The base was being over run and a bayonet would not stop the hellacious mob coming toward their position. The captain was faced with the fact that the soldiers and wounded personnel under his command, would soon die. This was not an option. The captain took up position behind a machine gun. He ordered the retreat to continue while he held off the Korean advance.
U.S. forces eventually pushed back the Korean army and reclaimed the forward base. The captain was found, dead, and more then 100 enemy soldiers lay dead in front of his position. Had it not been for his sacrifice then the base would have been lost and the men and women who trusted the captain would have perished. For his bravery and selflessness, the captain was awarded the Medal of Honor.
I hope this story can assist you with how I feel about the men and women of the armed forces. I would like to thank you and tell you to never give up. Never stop fighting for the things that you believe in. The American way of life is not something that was given to anyone. It was earned by the blood sweat and tears of mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. This thank you goes out to the stripling warriors of our generation who are willing to lay down their lives for people they don't even know. If I could, I would scream it at the top of my lungs to never stop, never surrender and never forget that some things are not given to everyone in this world, but there is something that we have and will never give up no matter how hard the winds of hell blow...............................FREEDOM.
Please remember this, even after memorial day.
Melissa has expressed to me that my cleaning ethic sucks. I have since told her that she is delusional, because anyone other then her would absolutely adore cleaning with me. You see, for me, cleaning is just a matter of the proper motivation.
It starts with a good dance/techno song (the white male's cat nip). This is followed by me picking up clothing items and putting as many of them on as I can. Next comes the cheesy love song that I sing at the top of my lungs and put my heart and soul into expressing my deepest devotion to Melissa. Be aware that while this process is occurring, anything said by Melissa is met with extreme opposition. So picture me with five shirts, a skirt, jeans, two belts, a ski mask, a giant hat that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY, flip flops, a bra and gloves on. Add a little deafening techno music and you have a fun filled evening of cleaning. Why can't she see the world like I do, my own personal playground. The funny thing is that an outfit like this would have been completely acceptable in a mid 80's movie.
Which reminds me. Is there any other dads out there that feel a little strange whenever the child moves within the womb and you can feel it. And I don't mean the little bumps or hiccups. I mean when the child drags his whole hand across the inside of her belly. Melissa wants me to touch her belly all the time and I am happy to comply. I just have to muscle past the feeling that the spawn of Satan is not about to rip out of my wife's belly and suck me into nothingness. I guess once you get past that its all good *thumbs up*.
The baby is due any day now and I can't wait. One, so that David can realize that there are other children in this world and no it does not revolve around him, and two so I can share what I hope will be one of the best things I have experienced with my friends. I have been to many places and seen many things both good and bad, but I can say that I believe none of these things will hold a candle to witnessing a miracle. Maybe the miracle won't happen right away, maybe it will happen after 20 years of hard work and devotion to my children. But the important thing is that I know it
is there.
Well on a final note I am thankful for all of the veterans and current service men and women out there protecting us. And YES they are protecting us. If the fight was not somewhere else then it would be somewhere in the United States. So for memorial day I will share with you the quick story of a Medal of Honor winner. Unfortunately I don't remember this man's name, so he will be known as the captain.
When I was in Infantry school I read on a wall within one of the doctors offices the story about an army medical captain in Korea who stood his ground and gave up his life for thoughes around him.
This captain was in charge of a medical tent on one of the forward bases during the Korean War. The captain herd an alarm sounding signaling that the Korean army was overrunning the base. The captain and his staff stayed and continued to treat people during the onslaught.
Suddenly a Korean soldier crawled under the tent. The captain reacted, grabbing a rifle with a fixed bayonet, he stabbing the invader in the back. More Korean soldiers continued to pour into the tent. The captain continued to dispatch these men even when faced with insurmountable odds. Eventually after being in hand to hand combat for a while, the captain ordered the evacuation of the remaining medical staff and patients.
The base was being over run and a bayonet would not stop the hellacious mob coming toward their position. The captain was faced with the fact that the soldiers and wounded personnel under his command, would soon die. This was not an option. The captain took up position behind a machine gun. He ordered the retreat to continue while he held off the Korean advance.
U.S. forces eventually pushed back the Korean army and reclaimed the forward base. The captain was found, dead, and more then 100 enemy soldiers lay dead in front of his position. Had it not been for his sacrifice then the base would have been lost and the men and women who trusted the captain would have perished. For his bravery and selflessness, the captain was awarded the Medal of Honor.
I hope this story can assist you with how I feel about the men and women of the armed forces. I would like to thank you and tell you to never give up. Never stop fighting for the things that you believe in. The American way of life is not something that was given to anyone. It was earned by the blood sweat and tears of mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters. This thank you goes out to the stripling warriors of our generation who are willing to lay down their lives for people they don't even know. If I could, I would scream it at the top of my lungs to never stop, never surrender and never forget that some things are not given to everyone in this world, but there is something that we have and will never give up no matter how hard the winds of hell blow...............................FREEDOM.
Please remember this, even after memorial day.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Double Dose of Dad
One minute you're talking about the day of birth and the next you're talking about how much money you are gonna win. My in-laws decided to get a money pool going for when the little tyke will be born. Melissa and I selected back to back days for the 24th and the 25th of this month. The pool up to about $40 right now so, you can bet that the baby is gonna come out in my favor, even if i have to take a pogo stick to Melissa's uterus, (I'm just playing, but that's a pretty intense image huh).
I head this story today about a kid who pored water on someones T.V. and then the T.V. didn't work anymore. And by a story, I mean it happened to me, and by a kid I mean my son, and by SOMEONES I mean my in-laws. Now, when I discovered the mess I really couldn't figure out weather or not David, (my son) had peed on the TV or it was just water. Considering I had my hands all in the mess, I will convince myself that I was cleaning up water and never speak about it again.
David's class went to the zoo today. PRETTY AWESOME. David saw all of the animals, pet some goats and then tackled a kid he didn't even know. I guess on one hand I am happy that David wants to play and get physical, on the other hand I am just ecstatic that David is mastering the art of timeout. I mean I've never seen anyone so dedicated to their work. I'm' sure he'll go pro some day, because every time he pushes, hits and takes toys he has to ride the pine. LOL.
By the way someday I'm gonna be a millionaire and you will all beg to read my blog HA!
I head this story today about a kid who pored water on someones T.V. and then the T.V. didn't work anymore. And by a story, I mean it happened to me, and by a kid I mean my son, and by SOMEONES I mean my in-laws. Now, when I discovered the mess I really couldn't figure out weather or not David, (my son) had peed on the TV or it was just water. Considering I had my hands all in the mess, I will convince myself that I was cleaning up water and never speak about it again.
David's class went to the zoo today. PRETTY AWESOME. David saw all of the animals, pet some goats and then tackled a kid he didn't even know. I guess on one hand I am happy that David wants to play and get physical, on the other hand I am just ecstatic that David is mastering the art of timeout. I mean I've never seen anyone so dedicated to their work. I'm' sure he'll go pro some day, because every time he pushes, hits and takes toys he has to ride the pine. LOL.
By the way someday I'm gonna be a millionaire and you will all beg to read my blog HA!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Peanut Butter Jelly TIME
I try to blame all of the breakdowns that Melissa has on the pregnancy. Even though I sometimes have to separate what is pregnancy and whats not, (remember ladies it's pregnant, NOT CRIPPLE) sometimes its super obvious which one is which, LOL.
So Melissa makes two sandwiches. I thought both of these sandwiches were for David. David being the three year old that he is decided to eat the peanut butter off of the first one and then trow it in the garbage. Yes...ha....ha...ha. But getting back to the subject, I didn't want the other sandwich to go to waste, so I started to eat it.
Now let me pause to tell you, don't get in between a pregnant woman and her food. Luckily Melissa just looked at me and angrily said, "THAT WAS MINE. Now your gonna make me another sandwich and it better have A LOT of peanut butter on it." Seeing that I had dodged a bullet I agreed. I made the sandwich and all was forgiven, the planets aligned and the world was at peace. That is until i got the bright idea that the first sandwich, you know, the one that I took a bite off of in the first place, I thought I could eat that one. Melissa grabbed it off of my plate and took half of it in one bite. I proceeded to take half of the sandwich that I had just made Melissa and take it for my own. Melissa stopped looked at me and then stormed off into the bedroom where i could hear the door lock. GREAT..........
I knocked on the door in a very apologetic manner and said, "Melissa can I come in?" A slow metallic click sounded and the door cracked open. I entered to see Melissa sitting on the bed, tears welling up in her eyes and her cheeks were full like she had just won the "chubby bunny" contest. "Melissa, whats wrong?" I asked. Then the full out drama took over. Melissa broke into a full cry and said "*sob* I wanted all of the sandwiches *sob*." I resisted my urge to make a joke about fat kids talking with their mouths full and decided the better course of action would be to comfort her. What ever happened to the fantasy that marriage was all about having sex whenever you want. *Sigh*
Oh and I figured out why some super markets are going out of business. I was walking into Winco and I saw before my eyes......the mother load of all shopping cart gatherings and then I realized that every super market in the world are over loaded with shopping carts. I don't know about you but I've never see all of them being used at the same time. I've seen the parking lot full and I've still had trouble walking around the carts at the entrance of the store. So there it is, TAKE THAT WALL STREET.
Lastly if you have children, and you want to go to the beech, remember......that being buried in the sand always turns out worse then you plan it. No your child will not stop walking and jumping on you, no the wind will not stop putting sand in your eyes and NO your wife will not stop laughing.
Ok guys until next time, lock your doors and kiss your kids. G'night.
So Melissa makes two sandwiches. I thought both of these sandwiches were for David. David being the three year old that he is decided to eat the peanut butter off of the first one and then trow it in the garbage. Yes...ha....ha...ha. But getting back to the subject, I didn't want the other sandwich to go to waste, so I started to eat it.
Now let me pause to tell you, don't get in between a pregnant woman and her food. Luckily Melissa just looked at me and angrily said, "THAT WAS MINE. Now your gonna make me another sandwich and it better have A LOT of peanut butter on it." Seeing that I had dodged a bullet I agreed. I made the sandwich and all was forgiven, the planets aligned and the world was at peace. That is until i got the bright idea that the first sandwich, you know, the one that I took a bite off of in the first place, I thought I could eat that one. Melissa grabbed it off of my plate and took half of it in one bite. I proceeded to take half of the sandwich that I had just made Melissa and take it for my own. Melissa stopped looked at me and then stormed off into the bedroom where i could hear the door lock. GREAT..........
I knocked on the door in a very apologetic manner and said, "Melissa can I come in?" A slow metallic click sounded and the door cracked open. I entered to see Melissa sitting on the bed, tears welling up in her eyes and her cheeks were full like she had just won the "chubby bunny" contest. "Melissa, whats wrong?" I asked. Then the full out drama took over. Melissa broke into a full cry and said "*sob* I wanted all of the sandwiches *sob*." I resisted my urge to make a joke about fat kids talking with their mouths full and decided the better course of action would be to comfort her. What ever happened to the fantasy that marriage was all about having sex whenever you want. *Sigh*
Oh and I figured out why some super markets are going out of business. I was walking into Winco and I saw before my eyes......the mother load of all shopping cart gatherings and then I realized that every super market in the world are over loaded with shopping carts. I don't know about you but I've never see all of them being used at the same time. I've seen the parking lot full and I've still had trouble walking around the carts at the entrance of the store. So there it is, TAKE THAT WALL STREET.
Lastly if you have children, and you want to go to the beech, remember......that being buried in the sand always turns out worse then you plan it. No your child will not stop walking and jumping on you, no the wind will not stop putting sand in your eyes and NO your wife will not stop laughing.
Ok guys until next time, lock your doors and kiss your kids. G'night.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Here she is MISS AMERICA
During the show (Miss America Pageant), Perez Hilton (pageant judge) asked Miss California (Carrie Prejean), "Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?"
This is an excerpt from an article on OMG! The subject of the article being that Miss California lost the crown of Miss America due to her answer to the question posted. This was her answer:
"Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," Carrie said to a mix of boos and applause. "No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman."
This whole thing worries me in many different ways. First of all in an interview with Larry King, Perez stated that this answer bothered him because Miss America should be politically correct, should be every ones Miss America and not just those who share her views. Well that's fine Mr. Perez but I have a few things to point out.
I wasn't there so I cant tell you how Perez felt, he has not talked with me and I don't pretend to know what he is thinking. I did however see his face after the answer was given. He looked disappointed, and I don't feel that it was because he had high hopes for her. I believe that he was hurt and upset by this. I mean WOW! How about some professional courtesy Mr. Perez. As a judge, you should have left your feelings at the door no matter what, as in not showing your personal emotions when someone gives an answer you don't like. And maybe, you should listen to your question. You asked how she felt she let you know. If you have personal investment in this subject you should have never asked it, PERIOD. Finally, I believe you are a coward. Miss California said these things because she believed them, and while she was saying it, she looked scared because I think she believed she would receive back lash. But you Mr. Perez had the audacity to lie in front of the whole nation about this issue. I hope you can sleep at night knowing that the people you judge have more courage than you. Good luck Mr. Perez.
This brings to light scary things for our future. My darkest fear is that these issues will be considered on the same level as the civil rights movement. By this I mean that people like Carrie Prejean will be considered bigots and hateful.
I am not a hateful man and I would lay down my life for anyone. THAT is not a lie. I would do this regardless of almost any issues separating me from another person. However I believe in God, and I believe that he has a plan and a crucial part of that plan involves the reproduction of our species so that all of his children have a chance to be on this earth. Due to this belief I believe that same sex relations hinder this process. My belief will not change because I fear my God more then I fear my peers. I will say that I am not out in the world trying to convince anyone to change their sexual preference. If someone asked me for my opinion I would gladly give it, but I also believe that God gave us free agency so that we may choose our own paths in life.
My hope is that in this cold war of beliefs, we will realize that differences of opinions are not sufficient cause for hate on either side. To sum it all up, it just plain worries me.
On a better note Melissa was in Target and a Mentally Delayed man walked up behind Melissa while she was buying something from the food court. After Melissa was done this individual walked to the counter and stated, "I would like a smoothie please." The cashier then said "OK, that will be $2.00." The man reached into his pocket and pulled out two pennies. With confidence he placed them on the counter and waited for his smoothie. The cashier looked at the man and said, "OK, well do you have $1.98 more?" And thus the battle began. The man reached over and over into his pocket pulled out more change and waited for his smoothie, while the cashier calmly responded by telling the man how much he was short over and over again.
Eventually Melissa looked over the shoulder of the man and mouthed a silent "I'll get it," to the cashier. After Melissa was done paying for the mans smoothie she turned around to see a woman who told Melissa that she had done a good thing. Embarrassed and a little confused Melissa walked away.
A little weird that Melissa was Confused? I think not. After hearing this I felt the same way she did. Melissa did this not to be nice or for praise, but because it had to be done. It wasn't a question of should I or shouldn't I, it was just something that should be. So receiving prise for this action would feel weird to me too. But in case she ever reads this.....Melissa I love you for being such a good person.
OK that's enough for tonight, later guys.
This is an excerpt from an article on OMG! The subject of the article being that Miss California lost the crown of Miss America due to her answer to the question posted. This was her answer:
"Well I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. Um, we live in a land that you can choose same sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and in, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman," Carrie said to a mix of boos and applause. "No offense to anybody out there. But that's how I was raised and that's how I think that it should be between a man and a woman."
This whole thing worries me in many different ways. First of all in an interview with Larry King, Perez stated that this answer bothered him because Miss America should be politically correct, should be every ones Miss America and not just those who share her views. Well that's fine Mr. Perez but I have a few things to point out.
I wasn't there so I cant tell you how Perez felt, he has not talked with me and I don't pretend to know what he is thinking. I did however see his face after the answer was given. He looked disappointed, and I don't feel that it was because he had high hopes for her. I believe that he was hurt and upset by this. I mean WOW! How about some professional courtesy Mr. Perez. As a judge, you should have left your feelings at the door no matter what, as in not showing your personal emotions when someone gives an answer you don't like. And maybe, you should listen to your question. You asked how she felt she let you know. If you have personal investment in this subject you should have never asked it, PERIOD. Finally, I believe you are a coward. Miss California said these things because she believed them, and while she was saying it, she looked scared because I think she believed she would receive back lash. But you Mr. Perez had the audacity to lie in front of the whole nation about this issue. I hope you can sleep at night knowing that the people you judge have more courage than you. Good luck Mr. Perez.
This brings to light scary things for our future. My darkest fear is that these issues will be considered on the same level as the civil rights movement. By this I mean that people like Carrie Prejean will be considered bigots and hateful.
I am not a hateful man and I would lay down my life for anyone. THAT is not a lie. I would do this regardless of almost any issues separating me from another person. However I believe in God, and I believe that he has a plan and a crucial part of that plan involves the reproduction of our species so that all of his children have a chance to be on this earth. Due to this belief I believe that same sex relations hinder this process. My belief will not change because I fear my God more then I fear my peers. I will say that I am not out in the world trying to convince anyone to change their sexual preference. If someone asked me for my opinion I would gladly give it, but I also believe that God gave us free agency so that we may choose our own paths in life.
My hope is that in this cold war of beliefs, we will realize that differences of opinions are not sufficient cause for hate on either side. To sum it all up, it just plain worries me.
On a better note Melissa was in Target and a Mentally Delayed man walked up behind Melissa while she was buying something from the food court. After Melissa was done this individual walked to the counter and stated, "I would like a smoothie please." The cashier then said "OK, that will be $2.00." The man reached into his pocket and pulled out two pennies. With confidence he placed them on the counter and waited for his smoothie. The cashier looked at the man and said, "OK, well do you have $1.98 more?" And thus the battle began. The man reached over and over into his pocket pulled out more change and waited for his smoothie, while the cashier calmly responded by telling the man how much he was short over and over again.
Eventually Melissa looked over the shoulder of the man and mouthed a silent "I'll get it," to the cashier. After Melissa was done paying for the mans smoothie she turned around to see a woman who told Melissa that she had done a good thing. Embarrassed and a little confused Melissa walked away.
A little weird that Melissa was Confused? I think not. After hearing this I felt the same way she did. Melissa did this not to be nice or for praise, but because it had to be done. It wasn't a question of should I or shouldn't I, it was just something that should be. So receiving prise for this action would feel weird to me too. But in case she ever reads this.....Melissa I love you for being such a good person.
OK that's enough for tonight, later guys.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
The Philosipher and the Spartan
I was formally introduced to the word Spartan in 2003 when I went arrived at basic training. Second platoon was the Spartans. We were third platoon, The Death Dealers. I remember thinking to myself that I'm glad we didn't get a stupid name like Spartans. Of course when I arrived at my first duty station I soon realised that our battalion was 1-36IN "SPARTANS". Boy did i feel stupid. Of course at this time I didn't know the difference between this type of warrior or a Trojan or a Roman.....etc.
"300" Came out and everyone wanted to be a spartan. I still wasn't convinced. I held to my conclusion that the Spartan was the dumbest name we could have been called and that was final.
After my time in the Army I attended the police academy and got a job with the city of Red Bluff. I realized that I was riding the thin line between irony and thick headedness when the local high school's mascot was a Spartan. ALRIGHT, you win. I decided to do some research.
Every civilization has flaws. The Spartans, had huge flaws but their greatest attribute was brotherhood. They had pride in the way that they conducted themselves and who they represented. Very few civilizations could lay claim to not having a single civil war, the Spartans were among them. Each spartan man, woman and child knew that they had a duty to perform and they were bound by this in their souls.
The undoing of the Spartans came not at a time of war, but peace. After years of war and then victory, the Spartans decided that they would become conquerors. Not enslaving the kingdoms around them, but declaring that they would follow Spartan tradition. But without a war to fight the Spartans became overbearing and tyrannical. Often forcing people to submit to their way of living. The Spartans cold not adjust to a time of peace. The neighboring kingdoms rose up against the Spartans, drove them back to their home city and surrounded them. The Spartans, land locked, were defeated and left to be only a shadow of their former glory.
The philosopher is hardly man who needs to be explained. Typical when I think of a philosophical man I think of a man who seeks enlightenment. Who uses logic and clear thinking to solve problems and help their fellow man. Although I can tell you right now that WWII was not won by these men. Point of fact is that there is a necessity for both of these types of people.
I look at our society today and I don't see Spartans, but I also don't see philosophers. I see a lost people who don't know what their duty is in this life.
What can we take from this lesson? Well if i had to pick and choose the best lessons from both parties I would choose the loyalty, duty, fearlessness, determination and a never say die attitude of the spartan. I would then turn around and educate myself. I would take time to talk with different people. I would teach my son the importance of life and not death and when faced with a problem I would seek a peaceful way first, exhaust my choices and then fight only when necessary.
I believe that we use labels for ourselves too often, Liberal, Democrat, Republican, Conservative Independent, etc. But I believe that we need a balance of all these things. Its my hope that in the future there will be no lines separating us, but rather a universal goal to improve our lives and stay loyal to the standards we set.
As for me, I'm just Loren, picking and choosing the best and the worst of the lessons I learn.
"300" Came out and everyone wanted to be a spartan. I still wasn't convinced. I held to my conclusion that the Spartan was the dumbest name we could have been called and that was final.
After my time in the Army I attended the police academy and got a job with the city of Red Bluff. I realized that I was riding the thin line between irony and thick headedness when the local high school's mascot was a Spartan. ALRIGHT, you win. I decided to do some research.
Every civilization has flaws. The Spartans, had huge flaws but their greatest attribute was brotherhood. They had pride in the way that they conducted themselves and who they represented. Very few civilizations could lay claim to not having a single civil war, the Spartans were among them. Each spartan man, woman and child knew that they had a duty to perform and they were bound by this in their souls.
The undoing of the Spartans came not at a time of war, but peace. After years of war and then victory, the Spartans decided that they would become conquerors. Not enslaving the kingdoms around them, but declaring that they would follow Spartan tradition. But without a war to fight the Spartans became overbearing and tyrannical. Often forcing people to submit to their way of living. The Spartans cold not adjust to a time of peace. The neighboring kingdoms rose up against the Spartans, drove them back to their home city and surrounded them. The Spartans, land locked, were defeated and left to be only a shadow of their former glory.
The philosopher is hardly man who needs to be explained. Typical when I think of a philosophical man I think of a man who seeks enlightenment. Who uses logic and clear thinking to solve problems and help their fellow man. Although I can tell you right now that WWII was not won by these men. Point of fact is that there is a necessity for both of these types of people.
I look at our society today and I don't see Spartans, but I also don't see philosophers. I see a lost people who don't know what their duty is in this life.
What can we take from this lesson? Well if i had to pick and choose the best lessons from both parties I would choose the loyalty, duty, fearlessness, determination and a never say die attitude of the spartan. I would then turn around and educate myself. I would take time to talk with different people. I would teach my son the importance of life and not death and when faced with a problem I would seek a peaceful way first, exhaust my choices and then fight only when necessary.
I believe that we use labels for ourselves too often, Liberal, Democrat, Republican, Conservative Independent, etc. But I believe that we need a balance of all these things. Its my hope that in the future there will be no lines separating us, but rather a universal goal to improve our lives and stay loyal to the standards we set.
As for me, I'm just Loren, picking and choosing the best and the worst of the lessons I learn.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
It's not you, it's me.
Amazingly I have just been informed that anything I touch will go wrong. I have not had this blog for more then few hours before it was discovered by my wife and then picked apart as nothing more then a new weapon in my evil arsenal. My wife said, and I do quote, "This is just a way of you annoying more then just me and in mass quantities."
I have to admit I was taken aback because I love my wife so much and I really feel she is starting to understand me; however, I also feel it is my duty to lash back at her and bring her intimate ugly flaws to the surface........ok kidding.
But I will take a moment to comment on chick flicks. My wife just recently saw The Women and wants everyone to know how good this movie is. When she was done watching it, she gabbed my ear off telling me the whole story about empowered women and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. The room had so much estrogen in it, I was surprised that I didn't drop an egg.
So real quick I want to give a shout out to all the men who have to put up with these things.......these women things. This is my rant against all of the birthing videos, the girls outings and the mood swings. The bargain shopping that doesn't save you money because she does it so much. The girlfriends that never laugh at your jokes (maybe just me). And finally all of the outfits that she tries on that I give an opinion about but somehow I am still not being honest.
These things can be considered tiresome, tedious, nagging and dare I say it, annoying.
Yes I feel better about myself already.
I have to admit I was taken aback because I love my wife so much and I really feel she is starting to understand me; however, I also feel it is my duty to lash back at her and bring her intimate ugly flaws to the surface........ok kidding.
But I will take a moment to comment on chick flicks. My wife just recently saw The Women and wants everyone to know how good this movie is. When she was done watching it, she gabbed my ear off telling me the whole story about empowered women and BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. The room had so much estrogen in it, I was surprised that I didn't drop an egg.
So real quick I want to give a shout out to all the men who have to put up with these things.......these women things. This is my rant against all of the birthing videos, the girls outings and the mood swings. The bargain shopping that doesn't save you money because she does it so much. The girlfriends that never laugh at your jokes (maybe just me). And finally all of the outfits that she tries on that I give an opinion about but somehow I am still not being honest.
These things can be considered tiresome, tedious, nagging and dare I say it, annoying.
Yes I feel better about myself already.
Take me out to the Hospital!
Ok, just to get things started, I wanna say that I will make entries on things of the world, things I'm going through and anything I think about in my head. It just so happens that I went to the hospital for a birthing center orientation tour and the only thing I wanted in my head was a bullet. Sad i know.....that no one had a gun.
I'm not saying it was all bad I definitely got cool points with the wife Melissa. She was all smiles and love for me. The worst part for me was just holding back what I wanted to say. Like when the tour guide hooked up the squatting bar to the bed I wanted to say, "Great, now I can practice my gymnastics in between contractions." Or how about when the Dula came in and demonstrated how close the doctor was gonna get to the vagina, I was about to die with laughter day dreaming about the radio man trying desperately to get a signal. And the Coup De Gra occurred when the 60 year old Dula put her legs in the stirrups and performed a few hip thrusts to demonstrate the position. All the while she maintained her cool, collected, tour guide demeanor.
Pros: Good points with the Wife I recommend any caring husband to do this, because you care.
6 1/2 Handsome Husbands up.
Cons: Tons of couples who are really uninformed and you might have to listen to all of their stupid questions. Not to mentions they made something that could have been summed up in 15 minuets last an hour and a half. Now that's talent.
7 incoming fetuses down
Good luck gentlemen.....YOU"LL NEED IT.
I'm not saying it was all bad I definitely got cool points with the wife Melissa. She was all smiles and love for me. The worst part for me was just holding back what I wanted to say. Like when the tour guide hooked up the squatting bar to the bed I wanted to say, "Great, now I can practice my gymnastics in between contractions." Or how about when the Dula came in and demonstrated how close the doctor was gonna get to the vagina, I was about to die with laughter day dreaming about the radio man trying desperately to get a signal. And the Coup De Gra occurred when the 60 year old Dula put her legs in the stirrups and performed a few hip thrusts to demonstrate the position. All the while she maintained her cool, collected, tour guide demeanor.
Pros: Good points with the Wife I recommend any caring husband to do this, because you care.
6 1/2 Handsome Husbands up.
Cons: Tons of couples who are really uninformed and you might have to listen to all of their stupid questions. Not to mentions they made something that could have been summed up in 15 minuets last an hour and a half. Now that's talent.
7 incoming fetuses down
Good luck gentlemen.....YOU"LL NEED IT.
Drum Roll Please
Have you ever sat there and had a million things to say about everything going on in the world but can't say it because you have no where to write it down at? Me either, BUT I did find this site that will let me blog my heart out. And that's what I'm going to do.
I've got a lot to say about EVERYTHING. In fact I challenge you to find me issues to talk about. My life is based on dissecting and making opinions.
Now I have the great job of telling you who I am. My name is Loren Keely and before you ask, I'm a dude, but thanks for your numbers and pickup lines they were all filed in the do not read basket and I'll cherish them forever. I'm married to my wife Melissa (last name will remain anonymous to protect the innocent), who is pregnant and I have a son named David. We are happy sometimes. I won' t lie, family is hard but awesome. Life's ultimate oxymoron. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and are proud Americans. I am 24 years old, I just stopped being a Police Officer and before that I was a Soldier in the United States Army (Infantry). I enjoy video games, books, talk radio, MOVIES and at the bottom of the list is working out but it's only enjoyable when I'm doing it.
Whats my selling point you ask.....besides wit and charm.....I don't care. I dare you to stick around a little and read my blog but i don't care if you do or don't. Its your loss if you don't.
I've got a lot to say about EVERYTHING. In fact I challenge you to find me issues to talk about. My life is based on dissecting and making opinions.
Now I have the great job of telling you who I am. My name is Loren Keely and before you ask, I'm a dude, but thanks for your numbers and pickup lines they were all filed in the do not read basket and I'll cherish them forever. I'm married to my wife Melissa (last name will remain anonymous to protect the innocent), who is pregnant and I have a son named David. We are happy sometimes. I won' t lie, family is hard but awesome. Life's ultimate oxymoron. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and are proud Americans. I am 24 years old, I just stopped being a Police Officer and before that I was a Soldier in the United States Army (Infantry). I enjoy video games, books, talk radio, MOVIES and at the bottom of the list is working out but it's only enjoyable when I'm doing it.
Whats my selling point you ask.....besides wit and charm.....I don't care. I dare you to stick around a little and read my blog but i don't care if you do or don't. Its your loss if you don't.
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