Peanut Butter Jelly TIME

I try to blame all of the breakdowns that Melissa has on the pregnancy. Even though I sometimes have to separate what is pregnancy and whats not, (remember ladies it's pregnant, NOT CRIPPLE) sometimes its super obvious which one is which, LOL.

So Melissa makes two sandwiches. I thought both of these sandwiches were for David. David being the three year old that he is decided to eat the peanut butter off of the first one and then trow it in the garbage. Yes...ha....ha...ha. But getting back to the subject, I didn't want the other sandwich to go to waste, so I started to eat it.

Now let me pause to tell you, don't get in between a pregnant woman and her food. Luckily Melissa just looked at me and angrily said, "THAT WAS MINE. Now your gonna make me another sandwich and it better have A LOT of peanut butter on it." Seeing that I had dodged a bullet I agreed. I made the sandwich and all was forgiven, the planets aligned and the world was at peace. That is until i got the bright idea that the first sandwich, you know, the one that I took a bite off of in the first place, I thought I could eat that one. Melissa grabbed it off of my plate and took half of it in one bite. I proceeded to take half of the sandwich that I had just made Melissa and take it for my own. Melissa stopped looked at me and then stormed off into the bedroom where i could hear the door lock. GREAT..........

I knocked on the door in a very apologetic manner and said, "Melissa can I come in?" A slow metallic click sounded and the door cracked open. I entered to see Melissa sitting on the bed, tears welling up in her eyes and her cheeks were full like she had just won the "chubby bunny" contest. "Melissa, whats wrong?" I asked. Then the full out drama took over. Melissa broke into a full cry and said "*sob* I wanted all of the sandwiches *sob*." I resisted my urge to make a joke about fat kids talking with their mouths full and decided the better course of action would be to comfort her. What ever happened to the fantasy that marriage was all about having sex whenever you want. *Sigh*

Oh and I figured out why some super markets are going out of business. I was walking into Winco and I saw before my eyes......the mother load of all shopping cart gatherings and then I realized that every super market in the world are over loaded with shopping carts. I don't know about you but I've never see all of them being used at the same time. I've seen the parking lot full and I've still had trouble walking around the carts at the entrance of the store. So there it is, TAKE THAT WALL STREET.

Lastly if you have children, and you want to go to the beech, remember......that being buried in the sand always turns out worse then you plan it. No your child will not stop walking and jumping on you, no the wind will not stop putting sand in your eyes and NO your wife will not stop laughing.

Ok guys until next time, lock your doors and kiss your kids. G'night.