It 's true that Flaws = Perfection. Have you ever sat down to draw something and then fuss about it not being perfect? Ok then, just me. But really, the truth is that when you look at everything around you...nothing is perfect and so therefore, it IS perfect. Weird huh? I bring this up mainly because I'm going to talk about the war between my face and my facial hair. The longer my facial hair gets the more white trash I look. Gross, uneven and downright unmanly. I know this and I have accepted it. Its just sad because I would never survive in a end of the world scenario. We've all seen the movies where the hero is alone in the world and so he has to grow the manliest beard imaginable. Like the kind that scare away bears. For me it would be the police officer stopping me and saying, "Son if you tell me some info I think we can get you back to your parents." I have some good facial hair, my eyelashes are beautiful, and they really accentuate my eyes. Girls have told me this, LOTS of them. They say, "My, what amazing eyelashes you have, but why is there a caterpillar crawling across your face," (talking about my horrific cro-magnum uni-brow). My eyebrows can get so long that my eyelashes will get caught in them. I only let them get that long for the sake of science. To finish that off I just want to go back to the imperfection/perfection thing. I am imperfect therefore I am perfect, (laughing while I write it).
After 24 years of life I have not figured out that its smarter to just go pee instead of dancing around until I can't hold it anymore. I think men in general do it. But the other day I was Christmas shopping and I could not make it to the bathroom if I wanted to. Every time I tried to go, something stopped me. Ran into an old friend, saw a sale I could not pass up or forgot what I was doing by the time I got there. Yes my wife picked a winner.
Ok I was gonna be done but I have to comment about relatives. Maybe its just me but some relatives are just....rude. My father in law's brother came to the house the other day. He gave a single knock and then without waiting, came in. No phone call, just came in. I was napping on the couch and was like half asleep. He picked up the remote and changed it to sports. My father in-law, who had just gone to bed after working a night shift came out because it would be rude of him not to talk to his brother. This relative then went to the fridge and took out two sodas and drank them. Now this was awkward, the whole thing I mean. He fell asleep after that. Now really picture this, he falls asleep in the elbow of the couch, a 350 pound individual spread eagle, legs up on either side of him and sawing logs so loud that he was rattling the windows. And here is my wife, my father in-law and I just staring at him, thinking that soon he will wake up and be like, "Oh sorry, I must have dozed off." Yeah, that never happened.
Anyways Its getting close so if I don't say it another time, Merry Christmas.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Kick my head.
Gosh I am just so frustrated!!!!! That's allowed right? I'm not being sarcastic either. I have a voice, I have things I want to say and on a side note the anamatronic deer we got keeps falling over and I keep having to fix it. Imagine a scene in a movie that goes back en forth from a leader of a country, to individuals.
We all consider ourselves important. We consider the town we live in the center of the universe. When we submerge our selves in our local culture we tend to think that other towns around us and far away are suffering in the same ways and from the same things. But its just not true! There are billions of individual stories waiting to be told, and when you think about it, sometimes we are put in a situation where we feel we play a part in many other people's stories. But then there is still our own story to be told. So many cultures, we couldn't possibly experience them all. Life in he U.S. is just so fragile. And so many people don't even know it.
There is so much hate outside of the U.S. it's mind boggling. I laugh when I think about the guy who hates black people, complains and openly mocks them, not even knowing he is part of the problem. In other countries its not about fighting for a better future, its about who is gonna kill the rest first. Granted that doesn't explain everywhere but I believe the majority it does.
I think about Iraq sometimes. I think about the people I've seen and their stories. I think about what it would be like growing up there and not even being able to understand what it means to be an American or understand what life here is like.
I remember one day responding to a suicide bomb in a market. As we were making our way in we see Iraqi Police pick up trucks carting off truck loads of bodies. I imagine each of these as a story. I remember one scene in witch a boy was being lead by an older man. The boy's mouth was open and he was screaming. Burn marks littered his cloths. Not much blood on him but his face was covered with a black ash. The only trace of his brown skin was where the tears were streaming down his face. I'll never forget that boy. And yet.....he has no idea that I exist. His was not the most interesting story I found thou, because I saw another man who peaked my interest. The man with the fire hose. The man who was "casually" hosing off the pavement of all the body parts and blood. What the hell is his story. I could not imagine living in a world that would make me so callus to the loss of life.
And what about my story. I feel like I, personally, have been through a lot. I'm sure we all feel that way at some point. I would hope that some people who will read this can relate. Well if you do, your not alone. I think the way to counter these feelings is to never stop learning and always keep a little love in your heart. To know the issues and whenever you can be thankful for what we have. LOL, funny thing is, putting my feelings into words makes me feel better already.
Just a warning before I go. There is too much assumption and not enough knowledge in the world right now. If your not part of the solution, the your part of the problem. Thanks for reading this guys.
We all consider ourselves important. We consider the town we live in the center of the universe. When we submerge our selves in our local culture we tend to think that other towns around us and far away are suffering in the same ways and from the same things. But its just not true! There are billions of individual stories waiting to be told, and when you think about it, sometimes we are put in a situation where we feel we play a part in many other people's stories. But then there is still our own story to be told. So many cultures, we couldn't possibly experience them all. Life in he U.S. is just so fragile. And so many people don't even know it.
There is so much hate outside of the U.S. it's mind boggling. I laugh when I think about the guy who hates black people, complains and openly mocks them, not even knowing he is part of the problem. In other countries its not about fighting for a better future, its about who is gonna kill the rest first. Granted that doesn't explain everywhere but I believe the majority it does.
I think about Iraq sometimes. I think about the people I've seen and their stories. I think about what it would be like growing up there and not even being able to understand what it means to be an American or understand what life here is like.
I remember one day responding to a suicide bomb in a market. As we were making our way in we see Iraqi Police pick up trucks carting off truck loads of bodies. I imagine each of these as a story. I remember one scene in witch a boy was being lead by an older man. The boy's mouth was open and he was screaming. Burn marks littered his cloths. Not much blood on him but his face was covered with a black ash. The only trace of his brown skin was where the tears were streaming down his face. I'll never forget that boy. And yet.....he has no idea that I exist. His was not the most interesting story I found thou, because I saw another man who peaked my interest. The man with the fire hose. The man who was "casually" hosing off the pavement of all the body parts and blood. What the hell is his story. I could not imagine living in a world that would make me so callus to the loss of life.
And what about my story. I feel like I, personally, have been through a lot. I'm sure we all feel that way at some point. I would hope that some people who will read this can relate. Well if you do, your not alone. I think the way to counter these feelings is to never stop learning and always keep a little love in your heart. To know the issues and whenever you can be thankful for what we have. LOL, funny thing is, putting my feelings into words makes me feel better already.
Just a warning before I go. There is too much assumption and not enough knowledge in the world right now. If your not part of the solution, the your part of the problem. Thanks for reading this guys.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
New Keys, New Key Ring.
Ok, first off. WHAT THE FREAK??? If I may direct your attention to the right ---->>>>>
Here you will see on my web site the quote of the day. This is something that was supposed to be fun; however, I now realize that the way you create a quote is by saying the first thing that comes to your head. For example
Yellow is yellow, like red is red. So when pertaining to the soul, we are who we are.
Loren Keely, 2009.
Epic I know, but I made that up in two seconds. If the quote had Winston Churchill next to it, we would all scratch our heads and say, "Man that's deep. Way over my head bro." I'm not saying all the quotes are bad. I'm just saying that most of them leave me with the impression that someone was spending a little too much time in the Chinese opium den if you know what I mean. Ok, enough of that.
I really want to talk a little bit about family photos. Melissa, David, Samuel and I, all got in the car and headed to Sears for some good old picture fun. You would think a six month old would smile very easily. The lady taking the pictures used a feather duster to make Sam smile. She slowly waved the thing at him and poked him with it. The first time she got a huge smile, we took a picture, the planets aligned and all was right with the universe. But when the flash went off on the camera. It was all down hill from there. Next time she tried to poke him with it, lets just say that she might as well have been Freddy Kruger trying to pick him up with blade hands. I could go on about how David was touching everything and how he pushed his brother over during poses, but I won't. (lol)
I wonder if women really know how scatter brained men are. I tried to be honest with my wife and I will share with you how it went. The other day we were driving around and I realized that she had been talking to me the whole time. I was thinking about cool things like, would I survive if I had to throw a grenade back at the enemy and it exploded above my head. But instead of acting like I was listening, I decided to come clean and say, "Melissa I'm sorry but, I didn't hear a word you said. Could you repeat that?" I knew I was in trouble when she said, "Which part?".....Oh crap. It gets better though because I turn to her and say. "You know what, I'm sorry. Sometimes my mind wanders and I would appreciate if when I do that, you could be understanding and just repeat what you said no questions asked. What do you say?" Honestly some of the dumbest words I have ever said in my life. We will leave it at that.
Wanna hear something cool. You ever had a key chain that's all weak and doesn't feel manly? Well I got some keys to the church the other day that came with a super manly key chain. I'm glad I can cross that one off of my bucket list.
Here you will see on my web site the quote of the day. This is something that was supposed to be fun; however, I now realize that the way you create a quote is by saying the first thing that comes to your head. For example
Yellow is yellow, like red is red. So when pertaining to the soul, we are who we are.
Loren Keely, 2009.
Epic I know, but I made that up in two seconds. If the quote had Winston Churchill next to it, we would all scratch our heads and say, "Man that's deep. Way over my head bro." I'm not saying all the quotes are bad. I'm just saying that most of them leave me with the impression that someone was spending a little too much time in the Chinese opium den if you know what I mean. Ok, enough of that.
I really want to talk a little bit about family photos. Melissa, David, Samuel and I, all got in the car and headed to Sears for some good old picture fun. You would think a six month old would smile very easily. The lady taking the pictures used a feather duster to make Sam smile. She slowly waved the thing at him and poked him with it. The first time she got a huge smile, we took a picture, the planets aligned and all was right with the universe. But when the flash went off on the camera. It was all down hill from there. Next time she tried to poke him with it, lets just say that she might as well have been Freddy Kruger trying to pick him up with blade hands. I could go on about how David was touching everything and how he pushed his brother over during poses, but I won't. (lol)
I wonder if women really know how scatter brained men are. I tried to be honest with my wife and I will share with you how it went. The other day we were driving around and I realized that she had been talking to me the whole time. I was thinking about cool things like, would I survive if I had to throw a grenade back at the enemy and it exploded above my head. But instead of acting like I was listening, I decided to come clean and say, "Melissa I'm sorry but, I didn't hear a word you said. Could you repeat that?" I knew I was in trouble when she said, "Which part?".....Oh crap. It gets better though because I turn to her and say. "You know what, I'm sorry. Sometimes my mind wanders and I would appreciate if when I do that, you could be understanding and just repeat what you said no questions asked. What do you say?" Honestly some of the dumbest words I have ever said in my life. We will leave it at that.
Wanna hear something cool. You ever had a key chain that's all weak and doesn't feel manly? Well I got some keys to the church the other day that came with a super manly key chain. I'm glad I can cross that one off of my bucket list.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
House Dads Unite!!!
Its not a bad thing being at home and cleaning up. I should be happy that I'm supporting my wife as she goes and works. Of course I have to be careful when she comes home cause she is pretty cranky. Am I right gentlemen? First thing she wants when she gets home is her dinner and if she doesn't get that then, OHHH look out. Sometimes....after dinner...she wants..."other things," but usually by that time I am so tired from cleaning all day that I have to say no. I mean, where is the romance.
But seriously, imagine guys, a women who just got home from work,who is completely irrational AND menstruating. Scary I know. Most guys wake up in cold sweats thinking about this. I live it. I only have one thing to say, PTSD, (its an acronym). Enough said.
This will probably be the best post I have ever done considering all four people who follow this blog are women.
BTW, (another acronym), I don't think I will ever own a boxer. The bishop asked me to feed his dogs while he was away. This is okay considering I am a human being who can handle simple instructions. Things like, GET DOG FOOD, GET DOG WATER, you get the point. As long as you speak to me like a three year old then I'm pretty much good to go. But I was ill prepared for Satan's boxer to be one of the dogs I was watching.
Feeding time went like this. I get food for dog. Dog too scared of me to eat food. spend an hour waiting for him to be hungry enough to eat food. Open door to back yard so dog can relieve himself. Dog too scared to come back inside. I try to catch dog but only get scrapes for my troubles and a lot of dog crap on the bottom of my shoe. I trick dog by hiding behind door and closing it when he walks past me. This only works once because Satan's boxer is smarter then other boxers. I hide in a closed room. Dog sniffs me out and runs back outside before I can close the door. Eventually through a divine miracle, (only thing known to combat Satan's boxer) I get to the door before him. Dog lays on his pillow and is all of a sudden not afraid of me anymore. Repeat.
Well I must be off I have chores to do, (lol).
But seriously, imagine guys, a women who just got home from work,who is completely irrational AND menstruating. Scary I know. Most guys wake up in cold sweats thinking about this. I live it. I only have one thing to say, PTSD, (its an acronym). Enough said.
This will probably be the best post I have ever done considering all four people who follow this blog are women.
BTW, (another acronym), I don't think I will ever own a boxer. The bishop asked me to feed his dogs while he was away. This is okay considering I am a human being who can handle simple instructions. Things like, GET DOG FOOD, GET DOG WATER, you get the point. As long as you speak to me like a three year old then I'm pretty much good to go. But I was ill prepared for Satan's boxer to be one of the dogs I was watching.
Feeding time went like this. I get food for dog. Dog too scared of me to eat food. spend an hour waiting for him to be hungry enough to eat food. Open door to back yard so dog can relieve himself. Dog too scared to come back inside. I try to catch dog but only get scrapes for my troubles and a lot of dog crap on the bottom of my shoe. I trick dog by hiding behind door and closing it when he walks past me. This only works once because Satan's boxer is smarter then other boxers. I hide in a closed room. Dog sniffs me out and runs back outside before I can close the door. Eventually through a divine miracle, (only thing known to combat Satan's boxer) I get to the door before him. Dog lays on his pillow and is all of a sudden not afraid of me anymore. Repeat.
Well I must be off I have chores to do, (lol).
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Happy Thanks Taking!!!!
I didn't want to name the turkey, but "Elmer" as he/she has been named is now sitting in a tiny room where we have turned up the heat to 350 degrees. He is alone and cramped. One has to ask who on earth would do such a thing to a helpless turkey. Answer: THIS GUY!!!
Here is a boggling question, why don't more people like the drum sticks? I may never find the answer; however, its just more for me.
OHHH you know what makes a good Thanksgiving? More then one dinner. I don't consider myself a mooch, but if its there I will eat. Those of you who know me well know that my weakness is food. The church is having a big lunch at 12:00, thank goodness we have a lot of Samoan families in our ward so there is Turkey, Pig and Chicken. Man I'm hungry.
Speakng of Charlie Brown, he always had a good laugh waiting for me for the holidays. Oh Charlie Brown, you are a good friend to me. You taught me how to ignore all them pesky relatives. Now when they talk all I hear is "wah wah, wah wah."
All in all thanksgiving is a happy time. A simple time. A good time for giving AND, a good time for taking.
Here is a boggling question, why don't more people like the drum sticks? I may never find the answer; however, its just more for me.
OHHH you know what makes a good Thanksgiving? More then one dinner. I don't consider myself a mooch, but if its there I will eat. Those of you who know me well know that my weakness is food. The church is having a big lunch at 12:00, thank goodness we have a lot of Samoan families in our ward so there is Turkey, Pig and Chicken. Man I'm hungry.
Speakng of Charlie Brown, he always had a good laugh waiting for me for the holidays. Oh Charlie Brown, you are a good friend to me. You taught me how to ignore all them pesky relatives. Now when they talk all I hear is "wah wah, wah wah."
All in all thanksgiving is a happy time. A simple time. A good time for giving AND, a good time for taking.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
My adventure.
So, if you haven't heard, I fell. 25 feet from a zip line onto jagged rocks. I was with the boy scouts so its all good. When i fell i stayed loose. I hit down and the first thing that I saw was my ring finger bent 90 degrees and my hand was split open (a lot of flesh was hanging out of the cut). I hit the back side of my thigh but, I didn't feel it. In fact the only thing I could feel was the bottom of my feet. Trust me they hurt so bad.
I screamed for about 20 seconds. Then I got my pain under control and we started to move me. There is more to it but I will keep it part short because I have told this story many times and I am tired of hearing it myself. But, good news is there was no broken bones, just a lot of tissue damage, cuts and sprains. I GOT SO LUCKY.
Another women fell as well. She fell and landed in the same spot as me and ended up getting eight fractured, a dislocated elbow and has already had two surgeries. When I think about this I get sad and I feel bad that she got hurt and I only walked away with minor damage.
Well I am doing a lot better now. I am walking around with a cane instead of a wheelchair like I was at first. My grandfather fell from 30 feet and is paralyzed. I can't help but just feel lucky.
Don't worry I will write about something funny next time.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Friends
So its kinda funny that my wife and I always create weird ways to identify our friends. We have one set of friends (your one of my three followers so you know who you are) named Seth and Debra which eventually changed to Deth and Sebra. This occurred during Melissa's "problem," you know, the one where she can't speak right. Its ok, we're working through it, but she still has relapses from time to time.
Friends are great because they will be there and understand you even when your family doesn't. For example when I got back from Iraq and had an infection in my face that swelled up. After it was taken care of I was put on heavy medication. This medication took away what little ability I had to control saying every thought that came to my mind. So when Melissa and I went to a barbecue and she told me it was time to leave and then I told her to shut up, I'm glad my friends were there to support me with their laughter and good cheer. *sigh* Good times.
Or how about when you run into that friend that you haven't seen in forever and you are both really excited to see each other. But somehow the conversation ends at:
"Hey whats up man"
"HEY"
"How you doing man"
"Great, you?"
"Great.............."
(awkward). I just love friends.
Whoa I just herd Melissa say, "Oh no, don't pee on me. Loren I need a diaper." So I guess that's my que to go. Peace out people.
Friends are great because they will be there and understand you even when your family doesn't. For example when I got back from Iraq and had an infection in my face that swelled up. After it was taken care of I was put on heavy medication. This medication took away what little ability I had to control saying every thought that came to my mind. So when Melissa and I went to a barbecue and she told me it was time to leave and then I told her to shut up, I'm glad my friends were there to support me with their laughter and good cheer. *sigh* Good times.
Or how about when you run into that friend that you haven't seen in forever and you are both really excited to see each other. But somehow the conversation ends at:
"Hey whats up man"
"HEY"
"How you doing man"
"Great, you?"
"Great.............."
(awkward). I just love friends.
Whoa I just herd Melissa say, "Oh no, don't pee on me. Loren I need a diaper." So I guess that's my que to go. Peace out people.
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